Area 1 Cavern
  This is a huge natural cavern. The ceiling is 40' up and covered in chain-wrapped stalactites. The ground is very uneven, and water puddles in calcium-lined pools. A cobblestone path runs up to the enormous white marble stairs, topped with an obvious pair of huge double doors. A smaller path leads to the northwest, into a gap in the rock filled with huge #2 FERNS.
The north wall of the cave is also the face of the mansion, styled in a gaudy rococo style: pillars, pointed-arch windows, etc. The rest of the mansion is built inside the wall. The curtains are drawn on all of the windows, but the glass can be broken (60% chance of alerting ogres in the #6 FOYER). Nine windows surround the main set of double doors, spread across two floors.
The mansion's first floor is 5' higher than the cavern floor. The first floor windows are 9' off the ground; second floor, 19'. First floor, west windows lead to the #7 SITTING ROOM. First floor, east windows lead to the #8 OGRE BEDS. Second floor, west window lead to #9 SOUTH GUEST ROOM (these are the only curtains that are open). Second floor, east windows lead to #11 KELAGO'S ROOM. Second floor center leads to the upstairs hall, overlooking the #6 FOYER.
Tracks No sign of recent passage
Sounds The occasional drip of water and rattle of stones echo in the cavern
Creatures None
Traps None
Treasure None
Area 2 Ferns
  This was once a garden but it has now been completely overgrown. 8 gnome statues squat in the shadows between the ferns, each one with a different mutation and an expression of ecstasy. Huge ferns (purple, green, and black) loom taller than a man and impede progress.
Hidden in the ferns to the east is a doorway leading to #27 TUNNEL, which leads to #24 FOLDED HALLWAY. However, if the folded hallway is still folded, the passageway simply narrows to a dead end.
A party moving with normal caution has a 50% chance of being attacked by the astral peafowl each time they move through the ferns. The flock has 1 astral peacock and 6 astral peahens. They have a nest, well-hidden in the ferns, that contains a single egg.
Astral peafowl are omnivores who don't mind preying on living creatures. Usually, the male steps out of hiding, gives a warbling call to get everyone's attention, then spreads his fan, forcing onlookers into the astral plane. Then, the peahens launch their ambush, first attacking those who weren't affected by the tail fan attack. The male peacock will remain still during all of this, ensuring that everyone's view of his tail feathers is not broken.
Tracks2 Tracks and droppings from large birds, small rodents
Sounds2 The occasional drip of water and rattle of stones echo in the cavern; infrequent caw or clucking
Creatures2 Astral Peacock: HD 8hp AC 12 MV human Talons 1d6 Int 3 Mor 5 Cha 12
Astral Peahen: HD 1 AC 12 MV human Talons 1d6 Int 3 Mor 5 Cha 12
Traps2 None
Treasure2 Gnome statues worth 10g each. The Astral Peahen egg can be used to enhance divinatation or astral spells, or it can be sold for 300g.
Room 3 Shack
  This shack contains fishing equipment. (One of the ogres, Wrongus, is an avid fisher.) Bolted to the wall is a three-eyed shark, imperfectly taxidermied. It's gruesome mouth holds 12 fishing hooks, each worth 10g. Against one wall is a blood-soaked table that reeks of fish guts.
Fishing is possible off the dock. It requires baited hooks, or nothing will be caught. There is a 50% chance every 10 minutes spent fishing that a fish will bite. Hooking the fish is automatic. If you hook a fish, roll a d10:
  1. Zombie carp
  2. Ghost carp (invisible flesh and visible bones)
  3. Underdark dolphino (cries like a baby)
  4. Lying fish (claims to grant wishes, moronic and deceptive)
  5. Nightmare squid (ink can be used as wizard ink)
  6. Owlbearfish (feathered, beaked, sinuous, stats as an owlbear)
  7. Sepulcher fish (poisonous spikes, save or take 2d12 damage)
  8. Ichthonian spawn (HD 1, knows a few words, fully amphibious)
  9. -10. The hook breaks
Tracks3 No sign of recent use
Sounds3 Lapping of water from the lake
Creatures3 None
Traps3 None
Treasure3 Fishing hooks each worth 10g. Other items of interest: 2 fishing poles, fishing net, box with 2 empty vials and 2 vials full of stinking black liquid. (potions of polymorph into shark), and galoshes.
Area 4 Stairs
  Huge stairs are flanked by a pair of (non-magical) gargoyles wearing festive hats. One gargoyle holds a red cloak in its claws. Anyone who stands on the ground within 5' to the east of the stairs notices the door to #5 PIT.
Tracks No sign of recent passage
Sounds The occasional drip of water and rattle of stones echo in the cavern
Creatures None
Traps None
Treasure None
Area 5 Pit
  Anyone who approaches within 5' of the east side of the stairs notices the outline of a semi-secret door. Behind this door is a small room, 5' square. In the middle of this room is a hole in the ground 4' wide. It smells faintly of feculent rot. This leads to the garbage dump and cesspool of the mansion, 70' down.
This roughly circular cesspool is 80' in diameter, and filled with 3' of filthy water. In the center of the room is a small island made from heaped filth and bones (mostly fish bones). On top of this island, someone has constructed a shitty imitation of a dinner table, complete with guests (human, fish, and bat skeletons) and rusted plates atop a table-sized plank. One of the skeletons wears a brass bracelet. Other items can be seen scattered amongst the sewage.
An otyugh named Slorum lurks among the trash heaps here. She is well fed and oddly intelligent, and spends her days playing with her dolls (the imitation dinner party) and frolicking in the poop. She will hide beneath the trash, observing the intruders for a while. She will only attack if the party messes with her dolls.
Hidden in the darkness of the ceiling is a hole that leads to the #20 BATHROOM, 80' above. It is currently blocked by a heavy slab, requiring a combined Strength of 18 to move. Without moving the heavy slab, there is only room for a man to stick an arm and a head out of the toilet (although a halfling could wriggle through).
Tracks No sign of recent passage
Sounds Stench of fecal matter and rot
Creatures Slorum the otyugh: HD 7 AC leather MV human Tentacle/Tentacle/Bite 1d6/1d6/1d8+disease Int 8 Mor 7
Traps None
Treasure Brass bracelet is worth 50g. For every 10 minutes of digging through the muck, roll a d6:
  1. platinum coin
  2. ,
  3. rusted spear
  4. ,
  5. softly glowing skull
  6. ,
  7. oversized crab fork
  8. ,
  9. -6 save vs disease (filth fever, 1d6 Dex)
Room 6 Foyer
  Rococo style. Red carpet, white pillared walls. A piano creature sings baritone opera atop its crabbed feet. 25' off the ground, an enormous crystal chandelier hangs. A coat rack holds two reddish cloaks and one black cloak.
Two mutant ogres dressed as butlers stand guard here: Oggaf has three arms while Zamzam has two heads (and wears two top hats). Both ogres will be polite, and will bow deeply when they notice the PCs. They believe that the party is expected (because nothing is unexpected here). They will want to know everyone's names so they can go announce them to Grandfather, who is certainly expecting them at dinner. If the party complies, the party will be invited to please wait a moment in the sitting room to the west, where there are refreshments.
The party is allowed to move about freely, as long as they behave themselves. Under no circumstances will the party be allowed into the #8 OGRE ROOM. The party will only be allowed up the stairs if Grandfather has given them permission (for example, if they've arranged to stay the night).
The piano creature can only communicate through song. It was once a human, and anyone looking under the lid will see a mess of organs and piano strings. The piano will only become aggressive if attacked or if anyone plays it poorly. It enjoys partnering with a master pianist (such as Grandfather, who it reveres). It will also attack if someone bumps into it during a fight (if they roll a natural 1 near it).
Stairs lead to the chambers above.
Tracks Large boot prints and scuffs in the rugs
Sounds Oddly deep and moist opera performance can be heard
Creatures Piano full of guts: HD 6 AC chain MV tortoise Bite 1d8+swallow Int 7 Mor 7 Inspect
Ogres Offaf and Zamzam: HD 4 AC leather MV human Gloved backhand 1d10 Int 5 Mor 9
Traps None
Treasure Crystal chandelier is worth 1000g, or 100g if shattered
Room 7 Sitting Room
  Four couches (leather, lace, canvas, and fur) sit here. In the corner of the room is a fountain of sparkling water, with 4 glass cups stacked near it (10g each). A coffee table holds skin-bound folios filled with pictures of skinned cats, surrounded by pure gibberish.
If the couches are observed for more than a moment, you'll see that they are breathing—slowly inhaling and exhaling. If the room is totally silent, the party will be able to hear the couches whispering gossip back and forth. The gossip is housewife-stuff, mostly regarding house staff, guests, and Grandfather's weight gain. They bleed when stabbed. If killed, they stop breathing and whispering. Nothing else will alter their behavior.
The water in the fountain is crisp and refreshing.
Tracks No sign of recent passage
Sounds Trickling water and the faint sound of somehthing like whispering
Creatures None
Traps Anyone who drinks the water in the fountain automatically fails all saves against command spells for the next 3 days
Treasure None
Room 8 Ogre Beds
  Three enormous beds. Racks of ogre-sized butler uniforms. One of the beds has a large object under the sheets—this is well-cuddled, taxidermied bear with no eyes and a blue nightgown.
In one corner is a 3' tall candle shaped like a woman from the waist down. The candle is halfway burnt down, so presumably it once depicted a full size woman of wax. Nearby is a picture book depicting farm animals and the noises they make.
Tracks Heavy bootprints and polish mark the floor
Sounds It smells like armpits and starch in here.
Creatures None
Traps None
Treasure Under one of the mattresses is 22g and some poorly drawn ogre pornography.
Room 9 South Guest Room
  This is a perfectly normal bedroom done in the Rococo style. Bed, nightstand, empty chest, unlit oil lamp. If the party sleeps over, this is where they'll stay.
Tracks No sign of recent use
Sounds None
Creatures None
Traps None
Treasure None
Room 10 North Guest Room
  This is where Lady Nathema and her two bodyguards are staying. She is the second-in-command among the Tusk Clan. She is here to buy a black wind fruit in exchange for 1000g. There is only a 50% chance that they are here; if they aren't, they'll be at the #12 FEAST HALL. She is a berserker and an amateur sorceress. She is also second in command among the Worm Tooth Clan, and has the loyalty of all its shamans.
The room has a huge bed. Two bedrolls are rolled out on the floor. Travel clothes are piled on the nightstand. In the corner, beneath a cloak, is a paper-covered treasure chest (wrapped like a Christmas present). The paper is painted: thick brushstrokes of blue paint in the shape of eyes. If the paper is protective; only Grandfather or Nathema know how to remove the paper safely. This is the symbol of Nine Eyes Against Chaos, a symbol of chaos that protects against chaos (since it is often its own worst enemy).
All 1000g coins in the chest are cursed. When the paper is removed, the coins will grow legs and fangs. They'll spend one round scrabbling on the inside of the chest before bursting out in a horrible swarm. Only Lady Nathema or Oshregaal can calm the coins after they've begun to swarm.
Tracks None
Sounds None
Creatures Lady Nathema: HD 3 AC chain MV human Bastard Sword 1d8 Int 13 Mor 12
Tusk Clan Bodyguard: HD 2 AC chain MV human Bastard Sword 1d8 Int 10 Mor 12
Traps Cursed Coins: HD 3 AC unarmored MV human Bite 1d6+poison Int 1 Mor 12
Treasure None
Room 11 Kelago's Room
  This is where Kelago lives. She is Oshregaal's older sister, although she doesn't look it; she stopped aging half a century ago, and now appears to be in her mid-thirties. She appears human, except that her arms have an extra joint in them. Her long, black, braided hair hides a stinger-tipped tentacle that emerges from the back of her head. She has a 75% chance to be in this room; otherwise she has joined her brother at #13 FEAST HALL.
She sleeps in a living bed that resembles a giant crab, with a spongy, pink top and a cluster of black eyes on the “backboard”. If there is combat in the room, the bed will attack after it spends one turn rousing itself. Piles of clothing are stacked in the corners. Most of this is hers, but some belongs to her victims (like a particular pile made only of men's shoes) The floor is a mess of crumb-covered plates and dirty cups. The walls are covered with knives. Only the center of the room is cleared enough to suffice as a work space.
Three headless tortoises (no discernable front or back) move slowly through the mess. They have mouths on the bottoms of their bodies, and their backs are hinged to open like chests.
She makes living furniture. It's her career and her passion. Right now she is halfway through the process of turning a 13- year-old boy into a chair. The party is invited to sit and watch, of course, as long as they sit quietly and don't interrupt.
The process involves a great number of specialized knives (103, to be exact), many of which Kelago invented herself. Bones are grown and shaped. Faces are smoothed. Panicked brains are made calm and unaware. Upholstery is alloyed to flesh. Blessedly, the boy is completely insensate at this point, except for a few involuntary gasps. She loves her brother, and the feeling is mutual. It was she who urged him into an early retirement, and the two sometimes spend the evening fishing at the docks, discussing chaos, the apocalypse, and their childhoods. If she is killed, Oshregaal will abandon this lifestyle, mourn briefly, then return to the surface world with a redoubled desire to grind the other clans into dust.
Her other desire is for beautiful people to willingly volunteer to become furniture (“How can unwilling flesh become great furniture?”) and would be very grateful for a willing subject.
Tracks No unusual tracks
Sounds Occasional gasp or bump from the furniture
Creatures Lady Kelago: HD 5 AC unarmored MV human Braid Stinger 1d6+poison Int 15 Mor 7
Crab Thing Bed: HD 4 AC chain MV human Claw/Claw 1d6/1d6 Int 6 Mor 9
Traps Tortoise #2 contains 3 yellow snakes (Dex check or be bitten, take 2d10 Con damage, save vs poison for half)
  • Torrtoise #1 holds a vial of wizard ink (100g), a potion of ooze form (a bit like gaseous form, except you become a viscous liquid and can enter bodies of water. Lasts 10 minutes), and a potion of hole (when poured out, it makes a hole 6” wide on a surface not thicker than 1'. Has no effect on surfaces thicker than 1'. Works on any surface, not just floors).
  • Tortoise #2 is filled with 750gp and 3 yellow snakes.
  • Tortoise #3 holds her spellbook, which contains her memorized spells + hide from ooze. The spellbook is alive, has a single eye on the cover, and is capable of crawling like a slug. It's sufficient to learn the biomancer school of wizardry.
Room 12 Grandfather's Room
  Instead of a doorknob, this room has a metal hand extending from the door. The door will only unlock when the metal hand is given a firm handshake. Inside is an opulent bedroom covered in dust.
Three huge mirrors sit on the other 3 walls. A nightstand holds a book on chaos theory, along with Oshregaal's original notes (worth 50g). The drawer holds three sticks of meditative incense, which calms wind when it is lit. In the center of the room, there is an enormous circular bed made of black wood, with a raised canopy resembling a wicker bird cage, with a line of runes scribed around them. (Someone who reads runic can recognize symbols for “imprisonment” and “death” among them). Sitting on the bed, are a pair of zombie concubines, facing opposite directions. The circular bed has four bedposts, each with a small emerald facing out. Hanging above the bed, from the inside of the bird cage dome, is incense brazier with four more emeralds on it. These last four emeralds can only be pried off by someone standing on the bed.
When the zombie concubines notice the players, they will try to warn them away with hisses and snarls (as they are incapable of speech). If removed from the bed, they will seek to return to it. They will take no other action, and if they party kills them, they will look relieved. They
Tracks None
Sounds Smell of musty stale air
Creatures 2 Zombie Concubines: HD 2 AC leather MV human Bite 1d6 Int 1 Mor 12
Traps The bed is, of course, a trap. Anyone who gets onto the bed is instantly cursed (no save) and realizes:
  • They are cursed.
  • They will die if they lose contact with the bed.
If they ever stop touching the bed, they must save vs Death. If they succeed, they are no longer cursed. If they fail, they die. An hour later, they will rise as an NPC zombie and seek nothing except to return to the bed.
It's possible to carry a cursed player around on the bed (but don't tell the players that). All of the hallways and doors are wide enough.
Treasure The zombies wear silken lingerie worth 50gp each.
The emeralds on the bedposts are worth 4 x 100gp. The emeralds on the incense brazier are also worth 4 x 100gp.
Room 13 Feast Hall
  At the far side of the huge table sits Grandfather Oshregaal, feasting with 12 tusk people. An imp paces back and forth across the table, chained to the butter dish that he carries. There is a 50% chance that Lady Nathema and her two bodyguards will be here (instead of the #10 NORTH GUEST ROOM). There is a separate 25% chance that Lady Kelago will be here (instead of #11 KELAGO'S ROOM) The wall behind Oshregaal is draped with red curtains, and hides the door to #14 SECRET CIRCLE. The feast's centerpiece is a roasted piercer, complete with chisels to get at the succulent flesh inside. Additional dishes: translucent fish stuffed with cheese and rat souls, candied cerebrospinal fluid, fried cave crickets, edible candy oozes, and apples. The candy oozes are still oozes, and must be soaked in ethanol for a minute to neutralize their acid. The food is not harmful, except for the wine. Grandfather will encourage eating, and pretend to be insulted if people refuse. No one cares if the party fills their packs with food—there is plenty to go around.
Lord Oshregaal is sort of like a leather-covered blob of pure fat, covered in spools of perfumed silk and Pieces of spoiled food are lodged between his fat rolls. He wheezes when he talks. But this is deceiving—his flabby paws can bend iron, and while his waddle is slow, he can fly as fast as a horse.
Oshregaal is the heart of this dungeon. The thing to understand about him is this: he doesn't give a fuck about anything except his sister and himself, and he will not be worried about himself until he actually takes damage. For this reason, he will only fight to subdue the party, rather than kill them. (Subdued parties are fed to the flying fusion ooze in #21 SEALED ROOM).
The other thing to understand about him is that he will never let the PCs leave (to the south). He almost functions as a one-way gate. If need be, he will use his tusk men, mutant ogres, or especially his mass command power to make the party remain. He won't try to kill them unless he thinks his life is genuinely in danger (unlikely) and would rather tie them to their chairs and feed them cave fish until they promise to be good. He will invent reasons to keep them there, and is a consummate liar. Reasons why you can't leave yet:
  • You haven't even eaten anything.
  • You haven't told any stories.
  • You insult me by not staying the night.
  • You haven't given me a gift.
  • You haven't seen my library.
  • I'll tell you why later.
If the party is, of course, free to explore the rest of his mansion (to the north) if they give a good excuse (such as “I wish to wander you mansion and gaze upon your wonders.”) He'll send the imp as a chaperone. Grandfather doesn't wait for an invitation to speak. Things that he might say.
  1. Say something ominous, eerie, or vaguely threatening.
  2. Expound on the true nature of chaos, and invite others to pontificate as well.
  3. Laugh uproariously for slightly too long. His tusk people will join in.
  4. Eat something with surprisingly speed and voracity (possibly a tusk man) then spend a full minute licking his fingers with sensual glee.
If the players hang out with Oshregaal for any length of time, he'll invite them to put a drop of blood in his cup. He' won't tell them why, except to say that they'll enjoy the result. The tusk people and any other guests will all contribute a drop. After he has collected the blood of everyone who is willing, he'll send a couple of tusk men to carry the cup to #15 KITCHEN. The blood will be used to make the favorite meal of Oshregaal, who will then serve everyone their own blood homunculus a few minutes later, as part of the meal's grand finale. He will then invite the party to make a toast to Chaos.
If the PCs truly piss him off, he will order all 12 tusk people to drag the party to #21 SEALED ROOM and seal them in. If the PCs hang out with him long enough, Grandfather Oshregaal will invent some late night entertainment. Possibilities: poetry contests, eating contests, orgies. If the party agrees to spend the night, Grandfather will insist that at least two people stay up with him at all times, telling him stories. At least one of these people must sit on his lap. (He is very trusting.)
He'll also tell the person the story about how someone tried to assassinate him by sitting in his lap, and how he twisted the lads head right off and swallowed it.
Here's the point of all this: Oshregaal essentially functions as a one-way gate into the inner dungeon (rooms #15 and beyond). Entering the dungeon is easy, but leaving it is difficult, unless you want to leave two of your party members behind, sitting on Grandfather's lap.
Note: leaving the dungeon is difficult, there are 3 ways to do it: Unfold the #24 FOLDED HALLWAY, the cesspool beneath the #20 BATHROOM, or teleport from #14 SECRET CIRCLE. And there's the option of killing Oshregaal, which is also very difficult, but not insurmountable. There is a magic sword in #17 that could wound him, and the portrait in the #19 could potentially capture him in the first round of combat. His mass command ability is potent, but stopping your ears with wax can give a +4 bonus to save against it. And of course, the party has an ally in #26 SCRIBE, who also possesses a magic weapon.
The 12 tusk people are nearly comatose. Their brains have been blasted by so many uses of Grandfather's mass command that they exist in a daze, constantly repeating the same futile action. One tusk man is stabbing a piece of piercer repeatedly with a fork, and has been for the last hour. One tusk woman is wolfing down a belly's worth of what looks like fish stew, vomiting it back up, and then repeating the process. Despite this apparent stupefaction, they will respond appropriately if they witness an obvious threat (such as someone drawing a sword). And of course, they obey Grandfather fanatically.
The imp is named Pazuzu. He and Grandfather share a mutual hatred, but the imp is bound to obey him. He will curse Grandfather's name at every opportunity, and blames him for everything that has happened to him. He will fly into a rage whenever butter is mentioned. The terms of his agreement forbid him from acting against Grandfather in any way, or giving clues about the dungeon. If he chaperones the party, he will attack them as soon as they start breaking or stealing things. The terms of his contract prevent him from fleeing, and so he will fight to the death, unhappily. He is a liar.
Lady Nathema is more fully detailed in #10 NORTH GUEST ROOM. If she is here (50% chance) she will be discussing the purchase of more black wind fruit in exchange for gold and slaves. She also wants to apprentice under Grandfather.
If she is not there currently, she will arrive later, in time for dinner. Over the course of the meal, she will become gradually infuriated by Grandfather's constant stubbornness and crude jokes. In the morning, they'll conduct their trade (1000gp for one black wind elixir) and she'll leave in a huff. (That is, unless the players interfere.)
Tracks No unusual tracks
Sounds Smell of rich food and cigars
Creatures Grandfather Oshregaal: HD 10 AC leather MV fly Claw/Claw 1d8/1d8 Int 16 Mor 7
Lady Nathema: HD 3 AC chain MV human Bastard Sword 1d8 Int 13 Mor 12

12 Tusk People: HD 1 AC leather MV human Utensil 1d4 Int 9 Mor 12
Pazuzu the Imp: HD 2 AC plate MV bird Stinger 1d4+poison Int 12 Mor 5
Traps The wine will heal 1d6+1 HP and then cause a random mutation if the drinker fails a Con check.
Treasure Oshregaal's silks are worth 100sp
Room 14 Secret Circle
  This room is hidden behind the red wall of curtains.
The room is illuminated by 5 glowing skulls that float in the air near the ceiling. A bookshelf contains 4 books of powerful sorcery. A small cabinet hangs on the wall. And a huge circular floor rune dominates the center of the room.
The books on the bookshelf are Oshregaal's spellbooks, and they are powerfully cursed.
Each book contains much magical knowledge, however is powerfully warded, and can only be dispelled by plot-level solutions. (Basically, each book requires a rare reagent or mini-quest to open safely.) The cabinet contains two potions and a scroll.
The circular floor rune is actually a portal ring (and any spellcaster will recognize it as such). If the party stands in the center of the ring and reads the scroll, they will be teleported out of the dungeon.
Where? The DM should add up all of the interesting places that she would be comfortable running at the moment, and then pick one at random.
Tracks No sign of recent passage
Sounds Smells of arcane musk
Creatures None
Traps If a book is opened, the book teleports back to Oshregaal's bookshelf. If the person who opened the book fails a save, they are stunned for 1 hour, lose all pigmentation (they become black-and-white), and their most recent memories (in the form of 1d6 x 100xp) are then transformed into a red book, which also teleports onto Oshregaal's shelf. If a person is reduced to 0xp by this, they die, and their entire body is turned into a book. A person can regain their lost XP by reading their own book. (If a player falls victim to this, be sure to ask them what the title of their book is.)
Treasure Each book actually contains 1d6+3 common spells, 1 unique spell, and a great deal of information about chaos magic
The cabinet contains two potions of mutation (Drinker gains a mutation. No save.). It also contains a scroll of activate portal (everything atop a teleportation circle is teleported to the circle's set destination).
Room 15 Kitchen
  A mutant ogre named Wrongus is busy cooking food for the feast. He wears a tall chef's hat, which conceals a stunted leg that grows from the crown of his head. A couple dozen bundles of fresh spices hang from the ceiling beam. 4 barrels (half of them are wine, the other 2 are water) and fresh-caught stack of translucent cave fish. Wrongus is drinking from a bottle of brandy pudding and stirring an enormous cauldron, which holds the stew. There's also a shelf full of candy oozes, struggling to escape their jars.
The stew is the grand finale of Oshregaal's meal. If blood is added to the stew, a homunculus will form in the broth. The homunculus will be a perfect imitation of their genetic donor, except only 1' tall. These homunculi are flawed, and will die within an hour from various congenital defects. They are floppy and weak, and can only crawl. Dead homunculi will spoil in 1 day. Oshregaal will only serve this meal once (the ingredients are rare).
Wrongus is expecting tusk men to bring him Oshregaal's cup containing all of the blood. He will add it to the stew, and a few minutes later, fill up tureens with stew, and add a squirming homunculus to each, and send them back to #13 FEAST HALL, where they will be served to the appropriate guest.
Yes, your party members will have a chance to eat little 1'- tall versions of themselves. This is actually very beneficial to consume your own homunculus, and will function as a potion of cure moderate wounds and if the person is missing any body parts, they will regrow a mutant version of that limb. If you eat someone else's homunculus, it functions as a potion of cause moderate wounds.
DM Tip: This is the best time to serve your players some food at this point to your players in real life. Beef stew? A nice steak? Everyone likes steak.
Tracks No sign of recent passage
Sounds Sounds and smells of a busy aromatic kitchen, with undertones of ozone and tar
Creatures Wrongus the orge: HD 4 AC leather MV human Frying Pan 1d12 Int 5 Mor 9
Traps None
Treasure None
Room 16 Spider
  This door is locked. The lock to this door has a spider motif. It is unlocked by the key in the #19 LIBRARY.
There are only two things in this room. A statue of a spider, which is real, and Chariadulscha, who is not.
Chariadulscha, also known as He-Who-Counts, is a “dead” god of Zala Vacha (a commune of dispossessed gods). He is as dead as gods can get. He exists only as an immaterial shade, lacking the least divinity.
He can no longer affect the world in any way. Mostly he wants to be left alone in his hatred, but if the PCs pester him, he'll chat.
Since he is basically a sentient hallucination, he can appear as different things to different people, in two places at once, etc. His preferred forms are a tiny spider and a naked, squatting old man.
The one thing he can give is information, but never for free. In exchange for one honest answer, he will require someone to swear that they will sow Chaos on the surface world. This can be burning down an orphanage, altering the text of a holy book, or ruining the truce between two clans. Let the players suggest their own things. They will have 9 days to do this task.
Whoever makes this promise will be marked with a spider tattoo on their cheek. Every day it will crawl closer to their eye. On the ninth day, the spider tattoo will reach the player's eye, and Chariadulscha will devour their soul and possess their body. If the promise is fulfilled, the spider tattoo will crawl to a less obtrusive body part and become a nonmagical tattoo.
Tracks No unusual tracks
Sounds Cold, quiet chamber
Creatures None
Traps None
Treasure None
Room 17 Trophy Room
  Three taxidermied beasts stand on pedestals. Three taxidermied humans stand inside glass cases. A single torch burns on the west wall, 10' off the ground. In the center of the room is an enormous candle, 6' tall and 3' wide. Looking at the candle makes your gums bleed profusely, and a painful buzzing behind your eyes. The carpet is plush and red.
  • Taxidermied mammoth, hair still braided in the tribal patterns of the Doom Braid clan.
  • Taxidermied basilisk, missing its eyes. Mice live inside it.
  • Taxidermied walrus, embroidered with necromantic runes for unlife.
  • A death knight of Kel Dravonis, wearing full plate and clutching a sword that looks like polished lead.
  • A berserker of the Sacred Root Clan, naked except for his axe and six black arrows lodged in his back.
  • A shield maiden of the No Heart Clan, with shield and spear, decapitated. Her head is at her feet, atop a pile of gold coins (500g in all).
The items in the cases are exactly what they appear to be, except for the sword which is magical. Getting the armor, sword, or coins will probably require breaking the cases open (they weren't built to be openable). When the glass is broken, these bad things happen:
  • All fire in the room turns a deep crimson.
  • The door catches on fire. It will not be consumed by the flames. It can be extinguished by anything that would normally extinguish a burning door.
  • The burning door will not catch the carpet on fire, but if this does happen, it will create enough fire to create 2d6 more shadow children.
  • The holocaust candle has shadows equal to the number of light sources in the room (the door and the wall torch, at the very least). A shadow child crawls out of each of these shadows. They will jump on top of things and shoot arrows.
  • The walrus comes to life and tries to kill people.
Tracks No recent tracks
Sounds The pretentious musk of an overly-funded museum
Creatures Walrus Revenant: HD 6 AC leather MV dwarf Tusks 1d10+2 Int 1 Mor 12
Shadow Child: HD 2 AC Leather MV human Arrow 1d6 Int 13 Mor 7
Traps The candle is actually a holocaust candle, formed by the combined body fat of an entire village slaughtered simultaneously. If anyone touches the candle, the fat in their body will begin to ignite, dealing them 2d8 HP damage and an equal amount of Con damage, save for half. If the candle is ever lit (gods forbid), a similar effect occurs on all creatures illuminated by the candle within 50'.
Treasure The sword is called the Grey Grin Blade:
Room 18 Stairwell
  This is a two-story room. The staircase spirals around the exterior of this room. On the first floor is a statue of a tirapheg. Once the party goes past the statue, it will quietly activate and begin hunting them. They will leave the room safely, but the next time the enter the room, the statue will be gone. From now on, all wandering monster checks will be against the tirapheg. It is the only wandering monster in the mansion, and it will hunt alongside its phantoms.
Tracks No unusual tracks
Sounds No unusual sounds
Creatures Tirapheg: HD 3 AC leather MV dwarf Claw x 3 1d6/1d6/1d6 Int 10 Mor 8 Inspect
Traps None
Treasure None
Room 19 Library
  This is a two-story library, open in the middle. All of the bookshelves are built into the wall. A stairwell runs up and down the west wall.
The books are mostly philosophy, with a smattering of anatomy and insect books. On the second floor, north side, there is a locked case styled in a spider motif. Between the narrow bars, scrolls and folios can be seen. On the first floor is a desk with an oddly curved lamp. A pair of sheet-covered paintings hang on the north wall, one portrait and one landscape. A spot on the south wall is curiously bereft of bookshelf, exposing a blank section of the wall.
The desk is locked. The lamp is attached to the desk, and has a flexible neck, so that it can be swiveled to point in whatever direction you wish, much like a spotlight. It is styled to look like a tulip atop a narrow stalk. The lamp is currently turned off and pointed at the desk. It turns on with a touch. When the lamplight is shined at the desk, the desk unlocks.
The blank spot is a secret door. It will open when lamp-light is shined on it, and close when lamp-light is not.
The spider key from the desk unlocks #16 SPIDER and the locked case in this room. If uncovered, then landscape painting reveals a picture of a pig jumping into a pond.
The portrait painting is a trap. If uncovered, the portrait panting reveals a horrible old man, who will reach out of the painting and attempt to touch someone.
Tracks No sign of recent passage
Sounds Smell of old books
Creatures None
Traps Portrait painting: the person trapped in the painting can reach out (4' reach). Anyone they touch must save or replace them inside the painting.
If the horrible old man succeeds in escaping the painting, he will begin attacking people with a feces-encrusted bastard sword with cloth scraps tied around the blade. He's a level 2 fighter named Xax, naked and half-mad from the years of isolation inside the painting. He can be reasonable when calm. He came here years ago to kill Oshregaal, and knows Oshregaal's abilities (immune to non-magical weapons, mass command)
Treasure Desk: contains blank spellbook, a vial of wizard ink, a letter opener, a compass, and a spider-shaped key
Locked case: contains six scrolls, a potion of spider climb, and a mummified cat, clutching a pen. The spells on the scrolls are candle of truth, speak with dead, invisibility, call to familiar spirit, summon, and dominate rat.
Room 20 Bathroom
  Single stone bench with a hole in the middle of it. The hole is big enough for halfling to squeeze through, but not a human, unless the heavy stone lid is lifted (requires combined 18 Str). The chute leads to a cesspool in #5 PIT.
Tracks No sign of recent 'passage'
Sounds Signs that it has been recently cleaned
Creatures None
Traps None
Treasure None
Room 21 Sealed Room
  This room is sealed by four iron spikes driven around the door and the Nine Eyes Against Chaos carved into the door. Gurgles and slurps can be heard beyond the door.
In the center of this room is a circular pit, 20' across and 20' deep. This is where Oshregaal disposes of those he has no further use for.
At the bottom of the pit is a flying fusion (sort of a schizophrenic shoggoth). It is quiescent and requires 2 full rounds to rouse itself to activity. If the PCs truly piss Oshregaal off (a difficult task) they'll be taken here and throw in this pit, and the resultant fused creatures will become his loyal servants.
Tracks No sign of recent passage
Sounds Smells like acid and rotting meat
Creatures Flying Fusion Ooze: HD 8 AC leather Fly dwarf Pseudopods x 2 1d6+swallow Int 6 Mor 9
Traps None
Treasure None
Area 22 Nursery
  There is a sleeping baby in this room, sleeping in a rustic wooden crib. There is also a cabinet.
If the crib is examined, it will be revealed to have tiny runes carved on it. A player who knows runic will recognized the symbols for “immutability” and “control”. It is actually a stasis-crib. Anyone sleeping on it will not age nor wake up until they are removed from the crib.
The cabinet is very well made, the doors fit together perfectly. It contains diapers, baby, formula, and a six black cloaks. One of the cloaks holds a rebreather bladder. If the cloaks are removed, it will be revealed that the cabinet extends several feet back into the wall, and the back of the cabinet has a small seam running vertically through it and a pair of knobs, nearly identical to the doors on the front of the cabinet.
In the back of the cabinet doors a small, sealable vent will be revealed. There is a similar vent on the back wall of the cabinet.
In fact, the cabinet is also an airlock that leads to the next room. Here is how to use it:
  1. Get inside the cabinet and close the door behind you.
  2. Close the vent on the front door.
  3. Open the vent on the back door.
  4. Allow the pressure inside the cabinet to equalize.
  5. Your ears will pop and you will begin to suffocate. This is normal.
  6. At this point, you may open the doors in the back of the cabinet.
Because there is a near vacuum on the other side of the door, it is impossible to pull the inner doors open. The only other way to get into the next room is to smash the inner doors, but this is a very bad idea.
Tracks No sign of recent passage
Sounds Distant sound of a wind-up lullaby toy
Creatures God baby:
Traps Decompression: if the doors are smashed, all the air in the nursery will be sucked into #23 TREE as the air explosively decompresses. Anyone in the nursery will take 1d6 damage. If they fail a Con check, they are deafened as their ear drums are blown out. They get another Con check a week later to begin regrowing their ear drums. If they fail this second Con check, they will remain deaf. People in the nursery can prevent being sucked into #23 TREE if they make a Dex check. The baby and the crib will be sucked into #23 TREE, but the baby will take no damage. (Although, it'll probably get eaten by the tree unless someone saves it.)
Treasure Rebreather bladder: allows survival in airless environments for 1 hour, requires an alchemical lab to refill
Room 23 Tree
  This is where the black wind tree grows. The whole room is nearly airless. There is an alchemical contraption holding a vial of golden liquid—this is a black wind mutagen, freshly distilled from the fruit of the tree. There is also an iron chest, bolted to the wall. The whole thing is tended to by a pair of tusk people, mutated to survive in the airless environment. The tusk people wear cow skull gas masks, and two intestine-tubes run into their noses from a cow stomach on their back (looks like a gelatinous hunchback beneath their black robes).
If the room is a total vacuum, a person can survive in there for as long as they can hold their breath. If the party smashed their way the airlock-cabinet, there will be a thin atmosphere in there (enough for headaches, but not mechanical penalty). However, this makes the fight with the tree much more difficult (see below).
If the party smashed their way through the cabinet, the shockwave will destroy the alchemical contraption and the attached vial, and knock the tusk people to the ground.
The iron chest is locked and trapped.
The black wind tree is a pillar of flesh that runs from the floor to the ceiling. It's a single fleshy trunk composed of bundles of fused, stunted appendages. Golden polyps (unripe fruit) hang off the side of it. It writhes and gnashes constantly.
Tracks No dust and no trails
Sounds Oppressive silence in the near-vacuum
Creatures 2 Tusked Alchemists: HD 1 AC leather MV human Science Glaive 1d8 Int 9 Mor 12
Black Wind Tree: HD 5 AC chain MV immobile Bite 1d8+swallow Int 13 Mor 12
Traps Chest trap: A person triggering the trap is allowed a save to avoid getting stuck by a poison needle: 2d12 Con damage, save for half.
Treasure Iron chest: contains a black wind elixir (a rich golden honey where black specks appear and disappear), a potion of ooze control, and a potion of antigravity.
Anyone drinking either of the black wind elixirs gains +1 Strength permanently, grows tusks, automatically fails the save against any spell cast by a chaos wizard or demon, and can use Tusk Power: make an attack with +2 to hit and +2 to damage, but get a cumulative -1 to hit for the rest of the day.
Potion of Ooze Control allows you to control an ooze for as long as you concentrate on it. The ooze gets a save at -4. Lasts 10 minutes.
Potion of Antigravity reverses the effect of gravity on the drinker for 2 hours.
Room 24 Folded Hallway
If this is your first time using non-Euclidean spaces, you may want to read this section multiple times.
This hallway has two conformations. The first is a square hallway that functions pretty much the way you'd expect a square hallway to function. This is the “unfolded hallway”. The NW and SW corners each have half of a Nyarlathotep statue in them (see #24a).
Currently however, the hallway is in its “folded”. The entire west quadrant of the hallway has been removed from reality, and the north quadrant and the south quadrant have been joined at their west end.
This creates a three-sided square. All of the hallways are straight. All of the corners are exactly 90 degrees. But there are only three corners, and only 3 sides. When the hallway is folded, the two halves of the Nyarlathotep statue are joined.
Tracks No sign of recent passage
Sounds A dizzying numb sensation when trying to examine the surroundings
Creatures None
Traps None
Treasure None
Room 24a Nyarlathotep
  Built into the walls of this corner is a large statue of a squatting humanoid with a tentacle for a head. This is Nyarlathotep, a concept-god of hopelessness and twisted space-time. He perches on his podium like a gargoyle and holds up his two palms, which have been smoothed and lightened by the passage as if by many hands. Anyone examining the statue will see a small seam running through the statue that continues through the whole corner, from the inside corner to bisect the statues (i.e. the outside corner). The seam has some offsets, though: it looks like two nearly-identical halves of a statue were forged separately, then joined.
Standing in front of the statue, one gets a terrible sense of pressure, and passing in front of it sends sharp pains through your head, as if your skull were being twisted.
This statue is what has been keeping the folded hallway folded. If two palms of living creatures are ever touched to Nyarlathotep's two palms, the folded hallway will unfold.
After unfolding, the two halves of the statue will be in two different corners, revealing Nyarlathotep's cross section in vivid detail (he is full of people). Anyone standing to the left of the statue ends up in the SW corner. Anyone standing on the right ends up in the NW corner. This allows access to #27 TUNNEL.
Tracks Small footprints and grime cover the floor
Sounds Distant pattering of small feet and faint clink of metal on stone; a chill breeze from the southeast
Creatures None
Traps Statue trap: anyone standing directly in front of the statue when the room unfolds is instantly torn in half, and scattered across the fourth hallway. (The trick is to have two people stand to each side and press the palms; a single person pressing both palms would necessarily be standing in front.)
Treasure None
Room 25 Idol
  This door is lockable but unlocked. The lock resembles a circle of fangs. (This is one of the many symbols of Suza, one of the fallen goddesses of Zala Vacha. She is also known as She-Who-Drinks.)
In the center of this room is a circular pit with a raised platform in the center, easily accessible with a 10' jump (successful on a Dex check). On the platform is a 9' tall metal woman idol with ruby eyes, holding an (empty) goblet. The rubies are actually trapped plugs.
In the pit are 9 crocodile-leeches. They will attack anything that enters the water. If one of the rubies is taken from the statue, they will begin crawling out. It takes them a full round to climb out of the pit, but 1d6 of them will arrive each round after that.
Tracks No tracks around the pit
Sounds Smell of brackish water and occasional sloshing
Creatures 9 Crocodile Leeches: HD 3 AC leather MV dwarf Bite 1d8+attach Int 6 Mor 9
Traps Idol eyes: If a ruby is removed the gas inside the statue will begin to escape. Anyone prying it out with a dagger will be hit full in the face, and the room will fill with gas in 5 rounds. Anyone exposed to the gas must make a Con check or be blinded and paralyzed for 1d6 minutes.
Treasure Each ruby eye is worth 500g
Room 26 Scribe
  Here is a writing desk, a painting of Oshregaal when he was younger, a trio of astral peacock feathers hung on the wall (make you feel slightly detached from your body when you look at them), and the scribe, Plum.
Plum is a vat-spawned clone who appears to be a body double of a certain empress, long dead. Her skin is dark purple and her hair is teal. She has been working for Oshregaal for 13 years, and plans to kill him. Plum has forgotten her origin. Oshregaal periodically wipes her memory, so she knows little about the dungeon (or anything, really). She has been communicating with herself via lengthy notes, compiled in a big folder labled “memory”.
She is intelligent and empathetic, but also very naïve. She is armed with a crystal sword . She is level 1, and would make a good replacement PC.
The desk contains forged signet rings of local nobility and a great deal of letters, detailing clandestine business deals, mostly dealing with illicit trade in drugs, slaves, or black wind elixir. A false bottom in the drawer hides Plum's folder of notes to herself (includes vague plans to kill Oshregaal, including stopping up her ears to make her immune to the command spell) and a bag. She also has a bit of wax that she intends to stop up her ears with (to give her +4 to resist Oshregaal's command spell), but she only has enough wax for herself.
Tracks No unusual tracks
Sounds A scratching of quill on parchment
Creatures None
Traps None
Treasure Crystal sword: counts as a sword +1, shatters forever the first time a natural 1 is rolled. If the sword is held up to the sun, a beam of light will point the way to the Obsidian City, where Plum was created.
Bag contains 200gp
Room 27 Tunnel
  If the #24 FOLDED HALLWAY is unfolded, this is just a bricklined tunnel that leads from downstairs to #2 FERNS.
If the #24 FOLDED HALLWAY is still folded, this will not be accessible from indoors. From outdoors, it will be a bricklined tunnel that narrows until it completely closes
Tracks No tracks exist
Sounds Stale stagnant air, with a hint of ozone and musk
Creatures None
Traps None
Treasure None